Ramblings

This is mostly just a place for me to unload. I often confuse those around me because my mind often wanders from one thing to another in strange and crazy ways. I can usually follow my brain waves but those around me are left shaking their heads in confusion.

I am starting this blog thing because I am amazed by the other "mommy blogs" I've come across in the past couple of days. I am inspired by mothers who have lives that are so much more hectic than mine. I am excited when I read blogs about families who have adopted and now have full, hectic, chaotic lives filled with love. I look at the pictures that include children of all colors and sizes and I cry. Because to me a family is the most wonderful thing in the world and these people have pulled together children who may not have had anyone in the world and made it a beautiful union of people who will always be a family. Commited to each other in ways that others may not understand, but are forced to admire.

As a kindergarten teacher, second grade teacher, and last year, a 7th grade science teacher I see so many children that are not being treated as they should. Every year I come home and tell my husband, sorry, but I may be bringing home ___________ soon. The first year he told me, "no way, that's a bad idea." And I listened. I watched a little boy go through abuse (I reported it, but the documentation didn't make them move any faster) and even though it was terribly tramatic for his siblings and himself, I cheered when he was taken from his parents and moved to a grandmother's who loved and kept those kids together. The following year I again said, "I'm bringing home __________." And again T. (husband) said, "that's not a good idea." And again I listened. And again I watched the abuse and neglect (reported again) and he was moved to a foster home, away from me. I don't know how he's doing and that kills me. The following year a little girl and the classroom next door was being abused and I again wanted to bring her home. T. was softening by this time and just told me to make sure I had permission. She spent some time here with my family, but was eventually moved into a foster home. Almost every year for the past 7 years, there is one child... Last year I finally convinced my husband that we needed to become licensed for foster care. His biggest concern was that we would get attached and the child(ren) will be taken away. I agree, this will probably kill me, but at least the child has had some care and security, but most importantly love, even if it's for a short amount of time. Which leads me to my next thought... how about adoption? I have no doubt that T. will be willing if the opportunity presents itself. However, I don't know if he's as motivated by it as I am. I don't think he's going to go out and persue it. Once again, I'll go back to the fact that God has always led us in the right direction and I have no doubt that this is where we're being led. We'll see where it all takes us.

My own children are groaning... school starts again Monday. It's going to be so hard to get myself and my own little growlers back into the routine. It seems like forever since I've been at work. I hate to think how long it feels for my 5 and 6 year olds. I wonder if they've forgotten me. I'm missing them horribly. We'll see how much I miss them when they are COMPLETELY out of the routine on Monday. They are going to be crying and out of sorts... ugh. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. To seal the deal and make going back to school even more of a challenge, Tuesday I have been summoned for jury duty. Maybe I won't have to go (fingers crossed here).

Until next time.... God bless!